Wednesday, 23 August 2017

A BIG MENTAL HICCUP

They do happen, little or large. Mental hiccups. Just had one for a number of reasons. 

     We're on our narrow boat in Warwickshire. Plan being to take our twin granddaughters for a short trip for a few days. 

     The twins are eleven years old now, and very definitely their own people. Psychologically my stupid brain has started  worrying that they prefer Husband for various reasons (he is chief planner and organiser and one twin tends to follow him and I get jealous although Husband assures me that she just follows whoever's in front!). So my stupid brain manages to override rationality. Pain. 

     But the twins are delightful. One, slightly tomboyish, is tiny and wears her heart on her sleeve. The other, more robust, has a wicked laugh and holds emotions in check. She's the one who laughs most at Husband. The other often gives me a cuddle. But when brain is stupid I'm stupid.

      We've been really busy with DIY (getting the house fixed up after years of neglect due to my depression) and going away over the summer and having writing group meetings (great fun, love ‘em!). And we'd just returned from a week's holiday in Wales with the girls and we're off again with them. But because of how I feel when the girls are with us (past experience) I felt slightly apprehensive. Also, I'd had barely enough for lunch. Coffee and cake. That was all. That doesn't help anybody. 

     So, having settled the girls on board, Husband and I were taking trolley loads of stuff back to the car when I announced that I was shattered and didn't want to cruise. I felt overloaded with activities. Husband recognised the signs. Was concerned I was falling down mentally. Fact was I hadn't eaten enough at lunch, and my brain was overreacting again. I returned to boat, had more lunch, then, feeling better, announced that I was going to do a bit of boat de-rusting. Very therapeutic, I'll have you know. And the girls did a bit of blackberry picking. 

    I felt so much better afterwards. It just goes to show, though. If you've had depression , it will always be there, albeit kept under control with medication or therapy. And remember, eat sensibly, for goodness sake! There's invariably a fear that you'll go down again, but not necessarily so. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) yourself and eat well. My hiccup came and departed as quickly as that. 



     In fact, just to end on a high, we've been on the roof of the boat, blowing bubbles and taking photos. Can't complain about that! 

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