Tuesday, 20 August 2019
As you'll know if you're following me, I've got a bit of a 'thaing' for the wild and woolly west, and I've been running Kitty Le Roy's Wild Westmy wild west website, for many years now. Here I've charted my hobby - how and when it began, how I got involved in clubs and living history camps, the artefacts I've collected over the years, and, since my mental health recovery, the extending and makeover of Kitty Le Roy's cabin, and what my plans are for the future as regards this and steampunk, which is connected! 😄
So, have a perusal through my website and let me know what you think of it. Looking back on it, it desperately needs updating, and now that I'm showing it off on this here blog, it's time I did so.
Would love to hear your views on this or anything else!
Friday, 16 August 2019
I've been struggling mentally.
We adore our thirteen-year-old twin granddaughters. We're bonkers about 'em. They're gorgeous and unidentical. With their own personalities, tastes and ideas, and we love 'em to the moon and back.
When daughter announced her pregnancy, we were thrilled.
When her scan revealed twins, our joy tumbled overboard. Twins had never occurred within our ancestries. Maybe in one of our dim, distance pasts.
My medication crisis occurred when the twins were eight-years-old. They don't really remember it. Vague memories of draping themselves over my bed and hugging me.
They're growing up fast and I'm having wee problems with how they perceive me, their Gran. Granddad is practical, fun, tells funny stories about his past which they love. I think, because they mean the absolute world to us, I want to be seen as the person I want to be seen as, if you see what I mean...😕?
I want to be seen as fun, funny if possible. A little eccentric perhaps. Practical? Sometimes. Good company, hopefully. Certainly not boring and tedious, which, sadly, my own grandparents were, back in the sixties (dreaded visiting them).
We've had the twins to stay for a couple of days. The visit was fun, as always, but this stupid, irrational brain took a turn for the worse. In my intense desire to be seen by them as fun, funny, intelligent, knowledgeable, with an intriguing past and a fascinating present (wouldn't we all like that?! 😄) I sometimes feel that I'm in competition with Husband. Am I as interesting to the twins as he is? One twin declared to her Mum that she'd like to adopt him because he tells such great stories, and she needed that for school projects. Of course, we know how I/my brain reacted. Jealous to the point of lime green.
I want to be one cool gran. I don't want to be the comforting, unfunny one. Irrational Brain takes over and I feel ordinary in comparison to him. Untrue. We strongly suspect that this is a result of my dodgy upbringing during which I was nagged and judged. So I'm an artist, archer, writer, traveller, explorer blahdeblah, but Irrational Brain can't see that and wants intensely to be seen as the person that it doesn't see. Particularly the funny, fun bit. So I'm struggling. Well, Irrational Brain is.
Soulmate Husband orders me to tell him what's going on and I do. But this time - yesterday - I bawled my head off until the floor was buried in soggy tissues.
So, yes - struggling.
But, Husband Cognitive Behavioural Therapy-ises me and we work through it. Definitely helps. I can't recommend CBT enough.
The other answer is to interact with the twins more. Sometimes, when Husband is relating a funny story from his past - he's got a zillion of them, and he tells a great story - I fall silent and feel as though I'm shrinking into the background.
Stop doing that. Interact. Stop hiding behind my laptop and join in the chat with the girls.
This will happen again. So I must remember what I have to do.
Wish me luck!
Monday, 12 August 2019
CREATING MY ODYSSEY: Husband's Learning Portugeuse, I'm being Creative,...: Can't ask for more than that, in all honesty. Himself is next door learning Portuguese out loud, which means I'm pick...
Husband's Learning Portugeuse, I'm being Creative, the Granddaughters Are Upstairs Doing Their Thing & I'm Fine...
Can't ask for more than that, in all honesty.
Himself is next door learning Portuguese out loud, which means I'm picking up on vocabulary - Caramba! - (Portuguese for 'bloody hell', 'goodness gracious me' etc!). Meanwhile, back in the conservatory studio next door, I'm working on this graphite pencil drawing of Yours Truly in steampunk gear, with loads of other creative thoughts and ideas surrounding me.
Later I'll be back to editing my epic western novel - I'm slowly working my way through a particularly crucial chapter (42,), containing *gasp* sex and violence - and I'll also be working on my blog. Meanwhile our 13-yr-old twin granddaughters are staying with us for a couple of days. We took them out for cake and coca-cola for breakfast (that's the job of grandparents. Get them hyped up and hand them back to the parents. 😁 Actually, they're fabulous and we're barmy about them). As I speak, they're upstairs doing their teenage thing - sleeping - and we're going to have pancakes with syrup and bacon for lunch. You heard right, if you're British - syrup and bacon pancakes. Discovered them some months ago and they're delish! Try it and you'll see. *Yum*.
Meanwhile, when it ain't bucketing with the wet stuff i.e. rain, which I love the sound and sight of from inside the conservatory, Husband is helping me to rebuild/extend my western cabin.
Other meanwhiles: We're planning the rest of this year and the whole of next year. Which means steampunk events, holidays, trips abroad, creativity, working on the garden - Husband's outdoor railway, four ponds and plants and trees.
We're attempting to nurture current friendships and make new friends. Very tricky, particularly if you're me and, when attempting to organise anything, your brain turns to mush. And I hate phones with a vengeance, particularly when the landline goes. I swear like a trooper and ignore it in the hope that whoever it is goes away. If they're that desperate they'll ring Husband or text us.
On other matters: We've recently taken our inflatable canoe out for a spin locally and that was enormous fun. Must do it again. I'd love to go swimming in the sea before the summer finishes, but again that could be tricky. A case of local-ish beaches when the tide and weather is reasonable and the places aren't heaving with holiday makers, which of course they will be. Maybe I'll learn to snorkel. You never know.
Meanwhile, my brain is good. Still get the occasional whoopsy, but not something that can't be sorted with good old CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. So... onwards and upwards, eh?
What are you guys up to?
CREATING MY ODYSSEY
Monday, 5 August 2019
Another film that gripped me. Quite old (1990s), but Tom Hanks won an Oscar for this. I'm not surprised - he was brilliant, and I wanted to see justice being made after Andy (Tom Hanks) is dismissed from his job with a law firm apparently because his work is inadequate, but truthfully
because of his HIV condition. Denzel Washington is the attorney who is the only one who will take on his case to win a lawsuit against dismissal.
Although I don't understand the ins and outs of law plots, I watched with fascination and a keen desire to know the ending!
Do you guys enjoy movies? Which ones?