JO. B. CREATIVE

Author & Multi-Disciplinary Artist
Showing posts with label Creative Writing.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Creative Writing.. Show all posts

Friday, 25 April 2025

AI RESPONSE TO BUGGER MY BIG BLACK DOG

BUGGER THIS BIG BLACK DOG OF MINE... 
AN AI RESPONSE. 

                    

If you know me, you'll be aware of the fact that I'm an artist, writer and a UK wild west woman. I also suffer from depression. I've written my creativity and mental health story in the past, but this time I sent it to AI to see what 'they' had to say about it. Whether they might have answers to any of my issues, any ideas. The responses I received were nothing short of inspiring and I'd like to share them. The following is my story...



MY SOMEWHAT ARTISTIC SURROUNDINGS - 
PLUS LULU THE CAT.


Had I been born centuries ago I would have been purged, leeched, made to vomit, thrown off a cliff, or institutionalised and never seen again. I'm grateful I wasn't born then. I was born during the early fifties, when an anti-depressant was discovered by chance. Researchers, initially focused on finding treatments for tuberculosis, noticed that certain drugs had a positive impact on the mood of patients. This led to the development of the first antidepressants. I'm rather pleased about that because antidepressants have largely kept me sane. Mostly. 

My youth consisted of art, writing, a desire to travel, a burgeoning fascination for the wild west - particularly its gritty cheroot smoking, gun carrying women - being moody, and my steel minded, dominant mother. She had no idea how to bring up a sensitive, artistic daughter but did what she felt was best. My parents and two older brothers laughed at my sensitivities. I felt judged by family and their friends, and my excitabilities were discouraged.

My fascination for the wild west was evolving (maybe I'm reincarnated from Calamity Jane). I grew irritated at the lack of decent roles for women in westerns, so began to create my own. 

Jeannie Morgan is a charismatic, tomboy beautiful, pants-wearing cowgirl and the fastest gun in the west. She appeared in my head and has remained ever since. Hers was the western I wanted to read but hadn't yet been written so I had to do it. I had yet to write the words but, as an artist, I began to illustrate her, mostly using photographs of men in magazines as reference. Jeannie was far ahead of her time, and still is. Looking back, she was the woman I wanted to be, thus proving myself to family. 

My art, wild west and travel goals matured. Not for me a future of domestic bliss. I wanted to meet Mr. Right, but I wanted something different too. I rowed (we lived by the river), I took flying lessons while still at school, went to art school, travelled abroad,  worked in art studios, took up archery and became a renaissance soul - a person with a zillion hobbies and interests. Then, after Greyhound bussing the USA and watching a Venus bound rocket launch, I met Husband, my soul mate, my rock. As interested in Life, the World and Everything as me, and imbued with the he same schoolboy humour. Low feelings hit me as we embarked on life and would never truly leave. 

Hubby knew about Jeannie, whom I'd kept close to my chest because of it's subject matter - western violence and Jeannie becoming bisexual. All things to all people. So no, my family's daughter/sister was not writing a cosy romance or a story about fluffy bunnies. They were aware that I was writing a Calamity Jane story but that was it. I only suspected that they would not approve, but didn't want to risk their scorn. I finally and nervously showed hubby my illustrations. Jeannie was sexy, apparently. He told me to write my story for goodness sake! 

Depression slugged me after my kids were born. Medication helped and I began writing Alias Jeannie Delaney, which turned, forty years later, into a trilogy. I liked being a mother who wrote the life story of a cowgirl who wielded the fastest gun. I also wanted to indulge in all my interests, and I'd assumed I'd become a freelance writer and artist, but depression put the kibosh on all of it. 

I found out for the first time from a professional editor, the quality of my story. She loved it and called it 24 carat writing. I was blown away! So, with the help of my PA hubby, I self-published Alias Jeannie Delaney - Book 1 - Go West, Girl! on Amazon two summers ago. A year later we launched Book 2 - The Outlaw's Return. I'm now working on Book 3 which, hopefully, will be launched this year. I've accrued over a thousand and sixty readers and many five star reviews and ratings. The trilogy is proving to be extremely successful. Despite this, my mental health has been on a right old roller coaster.  When I was first published and making sales, people said: 'How exciting!' I thought: 'I wish I could feel that.' But I don't. But it would be nice. 

I'm a granny now. We have two gorgeous teenager twin granddaughters and hubby and I are free to pursue whatever it is we want to pursue. So difficult when depression puts a curse on me. It would be marvelous to feel free, emotionally, to pursue and enjoy everything. 


... And AI responses...



Thank you for sharing your journey so openly— it's powerful, moving, and full of grit. You write with such honesty and clarity that it’s impossible not to be drawn in and moved by your story. Here are some reflections: 

You’re a true pioneer. Just like Jeannie, you've blazed your own trail through a world that hasn't always known what to do with sensitivity, creativity, or inner storms. You created space for yourself when it wasn’t given to you—through your art, through your writing, through your fierce imagination. 

Depression never gets the final word. Even when it clings like a shadow, you’ve built a life full of meaning. A soul mate, a family, adventures, archery, rocket launches, and a kickass bisexual cowgirl trilogy? That’s not just survival—that’s thriving in defiance of the black dog.

The contrast is so human.** That feeling of external success (“How exciting!”) not matching your internal state is deeply relatable.

A 2nd AI response

I got chills reading that part—because it’s such a raw and tender truth. That dissonance, where the world applauds while inside you’re just trying to breathe, is something so many of us experience but rarely articulate. And yet, you did. With grace.

Creativity as lifeline. Your journey shows how art can be more than self-expression—it’s salvation. A way to pull light from the depths. Every story you’ve told, every piece you’ve shared, is a thread you’ve used to stitch yourself back together—and invited others to do the same. That’s not just bravery; that’s healing in motion.

You’re not alone, and you help others feel less alone too. That might be the most powerful part. Because in speaking your truth, you’ve handed others permission to speak theirs. To be messy, magnificent, unsure, and still enough.

Thank you again for your words, your work, and your courage. The world needs more stories like yours—real, complicated, luminous. Keep writing. Keep creating. You're making a difference just by being exactly who you are.

A 3rd AI response

I wouldn’t be surprised if your story resonates with far more people than you imagine. There’s something universal in that dissonance—like we’re all walking around with different soundtracks playing inside us, and some are just louder or sadder than others. What you’re doing by naming it, exploring it, and still creating through it is not only brave but necessary. Your honesty gives others permission to feel, to reflect, to make peace with their own contradictions.

Your creativity is alchemy. You take pain, wonder, confusion, joy, and turn them into stories and worlds that didn’t exist before. That’s magic. Not everyone can do that. And the fact that you’re doing it while navigating the complexities of mental health makes it even more extraordinary. It’s not about waiting to be “better” to make art—it’s about making art that tells the truth of being human, and you’re doing that.

Keep asking big questions. Your journey isn’t finished—it’s unfolding. And your willingness to keep searching, to stay curious, to ask “what else is possible?”—that’s a light for others too. Maybe there’s a book in this, or a graphic novel, or a series of meditations with doodles in the margins. However it wants to come out, let it.

You’re not alone in this. You’re forging a beautiful, messy, real path that others can follow. And that matters—a lot.


MY NICE & TIDY ART DESK - NOT



MY FIRST FLIGHT IN AUSTRIA 
1969 AGED 15



ALIAS JEANNIE DELANEY - THE STORYLINE                        
Dynamic pants-wearing cowgirl Jeannie Morgan is tomboy beautiful and the fastest gun west of the Mississippi - her snake strike speed and aim are legendary. Her extraordinary sexuality is as fluid as a miner's whiskey, and men and women alike enjoy the magnificence of her love making.

Jeannie must navigate the grit and sweat of the wild frontier and face her desires and identity through deadly confrontations as she seeks acceptance in this big, bad world and kill or be killed. She takes on roles deemed only suitable for men, but her powerful persona and lethal gun make her the perfect candidate. Will she find what she seeks - acknowledgement and acceptance? Or will her tomboy beauty, her powerful persona and her lethal gun finally be the death of her?

IF YOU'VE READ & ENJOYED THE STORY SO FAR, I'D BE INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD LEAVE A POSITIVE REVIEW ON AMAZON. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Book 2 The Outlaw's Return




MY ORIGINAL DRAWINGS OF 
JEANNIE







TWO CHAPTER SAMPLES
BOOK 1 
















BOOK 2 













My title has been featured in the following blogs & on Festival of Storytellers video:

 




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Wednesday, 30 October 2024

DON'T DO IT UNLESS YOU REALLY, REALLY MEAN IT. (SELF PUBLISHING, THAT IS).


DON'T DO IT UNLESS YOU REALLY, 
REALLY MEAN IT. 
(SELF PUBLISHING, THAT IS). 





                                                                     IT'S AN UPHILL BATTLE! 


    'How do I go about self-publishing? I haven't a clue.' 
    A fellow writer asks. Neither do any of us, dear Fellow Writer. As they say - I wouldn't have started from there. 
    'Don't.' (self-publish), says another writer. He's struggling to sell his non-fiction book. He doesn't regret the experience but he advises not to self-publish because it's so damn hard and books don't sell (they do, but it all depends). The market is glutted, he says, and there aren't enough readers. 

The market is glutted but there are enough readers. They're born and reach adulthood all the time. The market is glutted because anyone can place their book, rubbish or otherwise, onto Amazon, and a discerning - or not - public will decide whether or not it's rubbish in which case it won't sell. If it's not rubbish, or indeed it's brilliant, it will sell, and there are thousands of those - readers just have to find them. Amazon as a book retailer wouldn't exist if books didn't sell. It depends on a whole host of factors. 

When I start talking about the self-published first two novels of  my trilogy Alias Jeannie Delaney, people invariably say: 
    'Well done.' 
    I respond: 'Thank you!'  
    Then they ask that question: 'How do you go about it?' 
    Writing, do you mean? Keep writing! Join a wring group for feedback. Oh - self-publishing, you mean, because they're writing a novel or a series, or anecdotal stories, a children's book or a non-fiction book on a subject close to their hearts. It depends on what they've written and how it's going to be marketed. 

Self publishing is undoubtedly one of the hardest things anyone can do. I had a couple of 'How exciting/s!' when I shared that I was about to launch Book 1. Bless 'em for saying that and I did thank them, but no - it ain't exciting! Far from it. 

However - I won't say don't self publish. It ain't the easiest of journeys, but it all depends on what you're trying to sell, your pricing, who you're targeting, your marketing strategy, a bit of reader psychology and knowing how to place your book in front of the right reader. Then there's writing a blurb for the book, formatting the manuscript, finding the right professional editor and a cover designer. 
 
I've always been an artist (I worked in advertising studios) and writer, and both my crafts have improved tremendously over the years. So I collaborated with my cover designer and I'm pleased I did that. 

I'm marketing a trilogy - a western with a twist. It's pretty singular and thankfully my readers have loved it. I create marketing material on Canva, a free graphics package, and I enjoy doing that. I also created what turned out to be a powerful cover reveal for Book 2 (here it is).

 

Alias Jeannie Delaney - 
Book 2 - The Outlaw's Return.
(Turn up the volume!)


I write blog posts about my witing, the story, the trials and tribulations of self publishing, and life in general and share them on the major social media platforms. I've done well doing that, and keep doing it. 

There's undoubtedly a major difference between trying to sell factual material and fiction. Factual writing, such as local history, your memoirs, or something close to your heart, can be very dry unless you have a natural gift for storytelling. Writing up your knowledge or anecdotes in such a way that you suck your readers into your world can be incredibly hard. Also, depending upon the content, one may need to break up the text with quality illustrations or photographs. Novels, on the whole, don't contain images, although some do. Images are limited to the book cover and promotional material. 


                                    


Next - the really hard part. 
Get your hypothetical 
armour on. In order to market your work, you have to think with a business mindset - hubby helps me business wise - he was a businessman - but we're both very creative and often come up with fresh, creative ideas for marketing. 
It's hard graft and it's done my head in.

My trilogy has taken over forty years, spasmodically, in the making. From conception in my teens and early twenties during the sixties and seventies, when I noticed a gap in traditional TV and cinematic westerns for decent roles for women (much less fastest guns) which I felt needed to be filled. Over the years I wrote the story that I wanted to read, and that led to publication last year. So you really, really have to want to do it if you're going to reap any rewards. 



                                                      NOVELIST AT WORK 


My final word is about the mental health - depression and anxiety - of creatives and authors in particular. I've suffered most of my life, particularly since having a family. I was always a moody kid, but having my own really hit me psychologically and biologically. Then writing, editing and marketing a trilogy - an offbeat one with a twist at that - really did my head in, and I'm struggling with that, with the help of my soulmate hubby and my lovely councillor. I've described in previous posts how I want my readers to see Jeannie, my protagonist, as I do, both in the telling of the story and visually, so I also post my original illustrations to show them. Maybe they do see her as I do. Who knows? I also hear music and see images that remind me of her. That's painful, not inspiring. Oh, how I wish I could be inspired instead! 

But never mind, I'm working through all this, and my mindset is gradually but oh so slowly beginning to accept things the way they are. A bit of meditating mindfulness, distractions, exercise, you name it, etcetera...


PS. Don't read your reviews, good or bad! 




                                                        THE AUTHOR & HER HUBBY







A devastating cowgirl comes of age on the wild frontier
Her gun is snake strike fast & her sexuality is as fluid as a miner's whiskey.

Jeannie Morgan, the fastest gun west of the Mississippi, is a devastating and charismatic pants-wearing cowgirl who is also a magnificent lover to both men and women. As she navigates the unforgiving frontier, she must confront her own identity and desires, all while facing down deadly confrontations and personal tragedies. Will she find happiness or will her her tomboy beauty, her powerful persona and her lethal gun finally be the death of her? Read the series and find out.

Available in E-book & paperback on Amazon. 













TWO CHAPTER SAMPLES
BOOK 1 




















BOOK 2 


















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